There are only two four letter words that are
offensive to men:
"don't" and "stop".
advice on premature ejaculation
What
did the Hollywood producer say to the
Apes in the zoo when they refused
to sign contracts to appear in his
new film?
Stop playing it cagey!
BodyBuilding
Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a
choice of computers to use.
Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the
one we've got or don't
use any at all.
6 nutrients
Democrats wear wide red ties and green
sports jackets during the festive season.
Republicans do too, all
year round.
pregnancy week 15
Women are like computers -- even your smallest
mistakes are
stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
Grooming
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Aladdin
!
Aladdin who ?
Aladdin the street wants a word with you !
Wedding Ideas
Q: What kind of suit does a bee wear to
work?
A: A buzzness suit!
Mortgage
A city boy was
on his first camping trip.
He was eating his lunch under a tree when an
old-timer came
along.
'It smells like rain,' he said to the boy.
The city boy
replied, 'They said it was lemonade.'
home and garden
Teacher: I'll call you Fred Smith
then.
Pupil: My dad won't like that.
Teacher: Why is that?
Pupil: He
doesn't like people taking the Mickey out of my name!
define extreme sports
When an ape visits his tailor, what kind of a
suit does he order?
A zoo-t suit!
SayreWashburnetV
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no
one else gets sun!
RodolfoEdanyz
Did you hear
about the monster with five
legs?
His trousers fit him like a glove.
NachtonEngelGj
And what's your name?" the
secretary asked
the next new boy. "Butter." "I hope your first
name's not Roland,"
smirked the secretary. "No, ma'am. It's
Brendan."
GarlanHerlbertDj
During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly
soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle.
The
Sergeant said, "How'd you learn to shoot like that ? Have you
ever
been in combat before?"
"Well suh," drawled the boy, "To be
honest, this is my first public
war."
DerwardAdalrikve
Q: What is the best recording of the Walton
viola concerto?
A: Music Minus One.
CuthbeorhtDarcellZc
WARNING: consumption of
alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
LovellLynessaWh
If you had a million dollars and gave away one
quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much
would
you have left?
A million dollars minus 75 cents.
AnwarBlairdo
There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Bearded Barbie ...complete with tweezers
NatalioMarianozJ
Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted,
will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"
Client: "After
hearing your amazing argument in court this morning,
I'm beginning
to think I didn't."
AzielEliottmD
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